Lets be honest separation and divorce are hard on everyone involved. It takes much time to deal with all the feelings and readjust to new routines and live changes. It’s said to take roughly a year or two to really resolve all the issues and feelings from the previous relationship. It’s crucial to take this time to not only deal with all of your feelings but to also find yourslef and rebuild your own identity.
Often in relationships we tend to loose a part of yourselves in the other. We put so much of our own desires and needs on hold for the other that we can even forget what we really like and enjoy anymore. This is why you need to take your time getting to know yourself again. Rebuild old friendships, make new friendships and focusing on making yourself feel whole without the need of another.
The worse thing you can do is jump from one relationship to the next (even if it’s with a past lover or friend). Not only do you need the time to cope and adjust, but even more so your child(ren) will need it. They will need your attention and love more then ever. They will need your reassurances, love and affection. Remember that kids have a tendency of taking things personally. They may blame themselves for your previous relationship ending, they may even feel that you going on dates with someone new is because you don’t want to be with them.
It’s so important that you open up all the lines of communication with your children during this process. Encourage them to talk to you about the way they are feeling or what they may be thinking. Assure them in advance that you won’t be upset or yell at them so they feel they really be honest with you. Reassure them that the things they are thinking and feeling are only natural and that it’s ok. If you see that your child is really having a difficult time dealing or adjusting to the situation seek professional advice and help!